Words I Wish I Would Have Said
by Sweet'N'Pinky
Summary: When Sonic visits Amy's grave, he'll tell Amy everything that he wanted to say to her before she died.


**Holla everybody,**

** Pinky here. ^^**

**Well I must say this has been a fun night. I will admit I cried a little _*cough* *hides giant basket of tissues*_ Ahem. I cried a little while writing this, hopefully it's better than the last one that I wrote because that one needed some MAJOR changes to it. I'm just glad I got it done, I'm so pumped about it! And I'm really sleepy now. It's like 10:40 at night where I live so yeah. 3 **

**But anyway if you liked this story don't forget to leave a review _(only if you want too, it's optional peoples ^^) _**

**And I'll be updating my stories after this so yeah, hope everyone has a fun time reading them. **

**But have a great day/night _(_whatever time zone you're in_ ^^)_ and I hope you guys have a beautiful rest of that day/night**

**Luffles you all, **

**~_Pinky_**

* * *

The autumn breeze whipped against the blue hedgehog as he trudged on, the soft breeze blowing his distinctive blue quills around his face as the orange and red leaves slowly fell around him, framing the quiet scene. He wrapped his scarf closer to his chilled frame as he trudged forward, past the hustling and bustling people and streets of Mobius and into the quietness of a worn down path off the outskirts of the forest that few people even knew of. He took in a painful breath as he held the parcel of red roses against his chest, protecting them from the frigid air. He trekked down an isolated path, the crackling of dead leaves and brush beneath his feet the only sound made besides the soft chirping of a robin. The path curved and the woods opened up around him as he took a small path to the left. The path was barely noticeable because of all the dead brush and leaves that lingered there, although, even without the path he would've found his way there. He knew the way by heart.

After a few minutes of walking down the beaten and forgotten trail, he stopped and looked upon the small graveyard that lay before him. He smiled softly as he trekked past the tall grass and weeds that were overgrown and bunched up in patches all around the outer edge of the forest. Most of the tall oak trees that lingered in that area shaded the small graveyard from the vibrant rays of the sun and created a serene and darkened place where wildflowers and weeds, if none adorned the graves already, sprung up and spread like wildfire throughout the cemetery, the only color to this dark an isolated place.

He smiled as he trudged forward, past the old, black, rickety gate that was rusted over and clearly and desperately needed repairs. It squeaked and groaned in response as it opened, but it went unheard by the blue hedgehog. He sadly smiled and shut the gate with a gentle 'thud' as he trekked past the cracked and lichen covered graves, the remains of dead roses and lilies laying on the worn dirt path before him. The chilled Autumn breeze picked up and swirled the remains away, as if clearing a small path for the blue hedgehog, the guest of honor of this isolated and gloomy place.

Nothing had changed since the last time he was here. Everything was always the same when he came. Dark, gloomy and devolved of all life. Sometimes he wished that it would change. Give him some closure, maybe. Maybe it'd show him that life moved on even after tragic happenings came along and pulled you from your lala land in the sky and slammed you directly into the ground.

After a few right turns in this seemingly endless place and he finally made it to his destination.

Clutching the parcel in his shivering, gloved hands he placed it down on the ground. The soft breeze rustled the brightly colored leaves on the large oak tree that the melancholy, gray tombstone lay under. When his bright eyes met the dull coloring of it, his heart began to hurt again and his stomach dropped.

'Her tombstone shouldn't be gray.' He thought to himself.

She was such a bright and cheerful person... it deserved to be pink. A bright, pastel, cheerful pink. But, then again, looking at anything that was shaded pink hurt too much. He wasn't sure if he would be able to deal with it.

His dull eyes shifted to the ground as his stiff hands pushed away the stray tree droppings and dead leaves. The crinkly discolored leaves blew away in the brisk fall breeze and his teary eyes fell back on her grave.

_Amy Rose. _

Her name was engraved on the stone in beautiful, black, cursive letters. He brushed his fingertips against the letters and traced each one of them with his fingers, memorizing them as he had done so many times before. He sighed a painful sigh as he looked at her name again, softly stroking his fingers against the edges of her tombstone as grief filled his heart. All he had left of her was a name and thousand memories that killed him to think about. He cringed as the memories he tried to force himself to forget rushed at him. The dress that she wore everyday with a matching cherry-red headband to match to hold back her petal-pink quills, golden ring-bracelets around her thin, slender wrists, her long eyelashes and cheerful eyes batting at him; everything about her was slowly suffocating him to death.

He choked back a sob as the memories pressed forward, reminding him of everything that he loved about her, her bright cheerful attitude towards life, the childish way she pouted when she didn't get her way, and her beautiful radiant eye color, a bright lively emerald-green that would always turn a darker shade of green when she about to cry.

He felt his eyes sting at the thought of her crying. Tears had always congregated on her eyelashes before she had willed herself to allow them to fall down her peachy muzzle, her rosy cheeks puffed out. She had always puffed out her cheeks when she was upset; it was silly to him. She had a slim, soft face and puffing out her cheeks made her look childish. Regardless, she always had a childish innocence about her. She was a lively person, an energetic girl... it was bittersweet for her to be deceased before any of them. Nobody guessed that she would be the first of them to die. And she was so young, too... it wasn't fair for a 15 year old girl to die, especially since it was her. Especially since he was the hero and he had lost his heroine. She had always disliked being called a damsel; she didn't like feeling helpless..But now, he couldn't help but feel helpless, staring at her tombstone as the memories of her clouded his mind.

He fell to his knees, the fading grass tickling his bare knees. His fingers surrounded a pile of leaves that he had pushed aside and he grasped them tightly and threw them away. His quickly-dulling eyes fell back on the grave as he spoke up. "Hey, Ames. I came, just like I said I would." He trembled slightly, his voice quivering as he spoke.

He received deafening silence as his reply. Another gust of wind brushed by him and kicked up leaves that rested on the dull ground. He continued softly, his lips quivering as he placed a hand on the top of the roses, quickly brushing the petals into place before letting his hands fall to the ground. "I wanted to wish yah a happy birthday. You're finally sixteen." He felt his body stiffen considerably and his lips trembled slightly.

She never reached her sweet sixteen.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." He added somberly. His hands parted from the ground momentarily to brush away a small smudge from the gravestone. He wouldn't tolerate anything messing up her burial site. He had failed to protect her before, but this time he would protect her with a newfound passion. Nobody was going to mess up this area. He'd make sure of it. This was where she was.

"I miss you." He admitted. When she had been alive he would have never admitted that to her face... or to anyone, really. Tails had always had a hunch that he liked her more then he let on. Nowadays he was ashamed. He deeply wished that he could go back and redo it all. He'd let her catch up, let her latch onto him and look at him with those big green eyes that he missed so much. He'd let her giggle and gush over him and he'd love her back and hold him in his arms. He remembered the way that she latch onto him, the way that she hugged and held him. Now that she was gone- now that he'd never feel her again- he desperately wanted to. He wanted to breathe in her scent, to hear her sweet laughter, her beautiful voice, to see her emerald green eyes sparkle again with delight and giddiness.

He took in a deep breath. He never thought it would be possible to miss anybody- or thing, for that matter- this much. It was criminal. It was painful. It made him feel like total crap for knowing that he had let her slip through his fingertips. How could he have failed to protect her? It wasn't like she was a big, macho target. She was a small, cheerful girl with a heart too big for her body. Too big for anybody's body really. He had never seen anybody so loving in his life, so generous and caring, and he knew that he never would again. He didn't want to. Nobody should steal Amy's place in his memory. He simply would not allow it.

He looked at her grave, his eyes clouding with tears as memories of her flooded into his mind. He remembered way she would kiss his cheek tenderly, the way she would chase him around and how she cared for him. Always hugging and loving him. Making him feel wanted and special, making him feel loved.

"I don't let anybody hug me, ya know." He said suddenly, piercing the sereneness of the moment with his broken voice. "It wouldn't be right..my hugs are yours and only yours..." he trailed off, unable to finish his statement. He felt his throat burn and his eyes singed with salty tears and the all too familiar feeling of guilt began to build in his throat.

"I'm sorry Amy." He blurted out, his voice choked with tears and guilt as his eyes overflowed and trickled down his pale face. He shook his head harshly and stared at her grave. The red roses contrasted with the dull colors around them and he felt himself choke up. If his heart wasn't already broken it would have shattered at that very moment. She was really gone. It was like it was sinking in for a second time. He trembled at his tears threatened to flow over as he brushed his hand against the roses that lay at the head of her grave.

He felt vile for avoiding her for so long. He just wanted to hear her say his name one more time... to look up at him with those adoring eyes and make him feel like he could conquer anything.

"Cream really misses ya." He informed absolutely no one, breaking his train of thought with the sternness of his voice as he brushed his fingers against a rose petal, fingering it and pulling it off softly. "Rouge and Blaze miss you too..They said they'd come and visit you soon." He sighed softly as he released the small red petal from his fingertips, the Autumn breeze picking it up and swirling it in the air as it carried it away from sight. He watched it as it was carried away and he spoke in a quiet voice, his eyes diverted to the ground. " Rouge and Knuckles are together now." He chuckled softly before adding. "Who knew huh? I guess you really did call it on that one Ames."

Sonic smiled softly as he looked up, but his smile vanished as he saw her pale gravestone starring at him instead of her bright cheerful smile. He cringed softly and placed a hand on the edge of her gravestone, softly stroking the cold marble rose that outlined her engraved name.

"Cream's really grown up now. She says that she misses you a lot and that.." He paused for a moment before continuing with a sad smile "that she loves you Ames.." He smiled softly before chuckling and adding. "She hangs out a lot with Tails now. You'd love it. You'd preach about how cute they were and how they're meant to be and how we should set a good example for them and hold hands..." He sighed audibly as he whipped his tears away with his hand, the other softly placed on her engraved name. "I'd hold your hand Ames, I'd hold it any day."

The wind picked up again, whistling eerily in his twitching ears. He fidgeted a bit and pulled his scarf closer to himself. He held it in his hands as he wrapped the stray stings around his fingers. Amy had given it to him for Christmas a few years ago. Knitted it herself. She said that he needed a scarf because the hero of Mobius couldn't fight evil doers with a cold. He smiled softly as he remembered how excited she was as she wrapped it around his neck when he opened his present, how bright and cheerful her eyes were staring back at him. Now that she was gone...How could he not wear it now? It was an obligation that he was completely willing to comply with. He wanted to wear it. It reminded him of her. It reminded him of how she worried about him and cared for him more then anyone else in the world ever did.

He sighed and placed his gloved hand on her engraved name, smiling softly as he closed his eyes.

To be frank, the only reason that he still fought today was for her. He knew that she'd never be happy with him if he just gave up and became a lifeless shell of a boy. He knew that she'd want him to keep living, for her- for both of them. She would have wanted him to continue to stand for peace and freedom and to never let anyone tell him what to do because that was one of the things that she had loved most about him.

He glanced at her tombstone and placed his hand on the ground beside her tombstone. 'I don't want to fall in love' he thought bitterly. 'I don't want to move on.'

"I don't think I could live with myself if I ever fell in love again." He admitted to the open air and falling leaves that surrounded him.

"I won't be happy with anyone else." He admitted. Tear began to trickle down his creeks and he quickly wiped them away with his hand.

'Men don't cry.' He thought bitterly to himself as he clenched his fist against the ground.

'Men shouldn't cry.' He clenched his jaw as tears began to stream down his face as he placed his fists on the ground, biting his lip to hold back a sob that was choked back in his throat.

'Men shouldn't let the girl that they had tried so desperately to protect and fail see them cry.' Tears trickled down his cheeks and he started sobbing, placing his hands into tight fists on the ground before him.

He just couldn't help it. She drove too much emotion into him; too many feelings and thoughts and memories crashed into him at once and he just couldn't control himself. He should have shown some feeling towards Amy, she gave him all her feelings, her heart and soul and he rejected it multiple times.

'Stupid, stupid, stupid!'

Why was he so stupid?

By running away he had told himself that he was keeping her safe.

By running away he told himself that he was protecting her, protecting himself from the feelings that he didn't want to realize that he had.

By running away he told himself that she was safe and that no matter how much pain or hurt that accompanied it...that he would be okay..

But he wasn't okay..

Every time he saw her emerald eyes sprinkled with tears or when he saw her fall and get back up and chase him all over again, it broke his heart. Everyday that he broke her heart, in turn, he was suffocating inside. Nobody would suspect she was his weak point if he kept running away, that he loved her, needed her so desperately that he felt he would shatter into nothingness if he didn't have her. But he knew he would never have her, that she was gone from his life. Her smile, cheerfulness, everything about her was gone.

He felt his head smash into his hands at the searing realization. He felt like his heart was being brutally ripped from his chest. He felt like every organ he possessed was being displayed from the inside out for the world to see. He knew that he'd never be able to see her again. He felt alone.

He felt the stubborn tears streak down his face. The warmth that had filled into him and made him feel real again had vanished as quickly as it came. His body felt heavy and cold. It was almost like he was lifeless... probably from having to go through this again.

"Damn it, Ames!" He shouted out to her grave, no one around to hear his pained cries except for the quiet rustling of the scattered leaves. "Why couldn't I have been fast enough? I'm supposed to be the hero here!" He felt warm tears stream down his cold face, his hands carving into fists as he slammed them on down on the ground." I was supposed to get hurt, not you! I was supposed to die, not you!" He hugged her tombstone and pressed it desperately against his chest, as if the warmth of his body would bring her back to him, shouting and pleading with a broken voice and a tattered heart. "Please come back, please to me Amy! I..I promise I'll be faster, I promise that I'll love you and treat you better than I did, just please come back to me!" He sobbed and trembled against the ground, the guilt and the amount of pain that he felt in his heart was too much for him to bear. "Don't you know how much I need you!?" He shouted out, again, to absolutely no one. He opened his eyes and clutched his head painfully in his hands as tears streamed out of his dull green eyes and landed in small puddles on the ground, the wind silently blowing the leaves and stray rose petals against his chest and shoulders.

He felt as if he was going insane.

The pain in his heart grew and he choked back a sob as he lifted his head to the sky, tears pouring down his face and onto the waiting cold, ground below. He didn't care if was insane, without her, every day was a day living in an everlasting hell. He didn't care anymore, he was lonely and bitter and insane without her.

He finally rose to his trembling knees, his fists clenched by his sides and his heart full of grief and misery.

"D..Don't you know how much I love you?!" He shouted out towards the sky and quickly fell to his knees, trembling and sobbing into his hands as silence surrounded him. The thing's he was longing to say was out in the air now. Nothing was unsaid... just unheard...

Unheard by the one person who needed to hear it the most.

It wasn't like he needed to hear it. He had known for a long time. She needed to hear it. He wished he could tell her everything he wanted to say, all the things he should have said to her.

He trembled softly took in a couple of deep breaths to try and collect himself. He had to get back soon. As much as he wanted to stay by her grave he couldn't. People were going to get worried about him and come and see where he was and he couldn't let them worry about him. He knew that she'd never wanted that. He knew she wanted him to be happy, to live his life out even though she was gone.

With a sudden burst of bravery, he yanked himself to his feet. His legs felt heavy, like stones. He leaned over and pressed a delicate kiss on her grave stone, near her engraved name. He sighed and smiled softly at her tombstone, letting a tears trickle down his cheeks as he brushed his fingertips against the top of her tombstone. "Happy birthday, Amy." He mumbled out. "I love you."

He willed himself to walk away from her, from all of the memories and thoughts and feelings that oozed out of the area and made his way back to the gate. It groaned loudly as he opened it, nearly breaking off of it's hinges. His next project would have to be to fix that.

He took one last look at the burial site, dried tears staining his cheeks. A dozen roses sat by her cleaned grave. To anyone passing by they'd be able to tell that who ever was buried there was deeply loved. A smile of some sort found it's way to his lips as he felt a familiar warmth enclose around his dangling gloved hand. An unexplained feeling closed around his fingers as he turned and lead the invisible heat away from her grave and out into the cold and chilly streets of Mobius.


End file.
